THE BOXLER FAMILY
Mr. Boxler was reading an article. No photo was included.
"The Boxlers never left their house. Neither Mr. nor Mrs. Boxler nor none of
the five Boxler children had employment. They raised fish in big tanks.
The fish ate mosquito larvae thriving on the waters surface. The Boxlers
ate the fish. One can of OFF and the Boxlers would have starved."
No photo was included. Mr. Boxler muttered "Nonsense."

THE BOXLERS WATCH T.V.
The Boxlers never left their house. They watched their television instead,
day and night. Because the Boxlers T.V. played only one show, the Boxlers
recited line after line as they watched Lee J. Cobb and George C. Scott
star. The movie had no title or credits and ran continuously but the
Boxlers enjoyed it thoroughly.

THE PET CAT
Little Synthia knew that the Boxler family had a pet cat. She had seen it
many times. Neither Mr. nor Mrs. Boxler nor none of the five Boxler
children knew that they had a pet. They had all forgotten. All but
Synthia. Synthia could not remind them because she was too young and did
not know how to talk yet.
The pet cat, living in a situation not unlike the entire Boxler family,
never left its house. It slept and stretched and did cat-like things behind
Mrs. Boxler's nice warm oven. Content to eat the insects that crawled by,
the Boxler's pet cat lived a fulfilled life for many years.

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MEANWHILE JIMMY DREAMS
The Boxlers never ever left their house. They did go to bed every night,
though. Mr. and Mrs. Boxler went their bed in their bedroom, Billy went to
bed in his bedroom, Synthia was put to bed in her bedroom by Mr. and Mrs.
Boxler before they went to their bed in their bedroom, and the twins, Jimmy
and Jeffry, went to bed in their bedroom.
The twins, Jimmy and Jeffry, slept in bunkbeds: Jeffry in the bottom bunk
and Jimmy, Indian-style, in the top bunk. Jimmy had a dream that he had a
heart attack in his sleep and died. And he did.

JEFFRY TRANSUBSTANTIATES
Jeffry watched television. So did Synthia. Synthia watched it better.
That is because Jeffry had something on his mind.
Jeffry began to transubstantiate. He started at his toes. He ended there,
too. Jeffry began to transubstantiate and ended with his toes. Only
Jeffry's toes were transubstantiated and that bothered Jeffry. What can one
do, though?
Jeffry watched television. So did Synthia. Jeffry watched it better.
Synthia watched Jeffry's toes.

MR. BOXLER FINDS THE SOLVENT
"Our life goes on and on," Mr. Boxler said one day. All the other Boxlers
agreed. "If only I could find the proper solvent," he wished. What do you
suppose he did?

Your pal,
Rev. Johnny Arcadia
Minister of Transubstantiation

THE BOXLERS' END
The cat ran out. In fact, it ran out from behind Mrs. Boxler's stove. It even ran out of Mrs. Boxler's kitchen. And into the living room. And onto the couch.
Billy Boxler saw the cat. Billy Boxler saw the cat in the couch. And he screamed. Billy did. Billy died.
The cat jumped through the box lid. It jumped out and ran away.
Billy was dead and Synthia saw. Synthia was too young and did not know how to talk yet. She played with the drape pull.
Mr. and Mrs. Boxler had been in the kitchen. But they had been engulfed in flames. The kitchen had been the first place to go. Jeffry was in a cabinet with the door closed. He had been in a cabinet with the door closed and he still was. In the bathroom.
He was humming as he did. Jeffry did. Jeffry looked at the thermometer and could not read it. Then he looked at the elastic bandage. It was for sprained ankles. And it was elastic, too. He hummed as he looked.
The Boxler's house burned. It burned completely and to the ground. The Boxlers never left their house.

THE BOXLERS' HOUSE DIDN'T BURN
The Boxlers' house didn't burn. It remained intact. The Boxler family was alive. The Boxler family was alive except for Jimmy. He was alive, too. The cat lived behind the stove. The Boxlers never left their house. And this time they never did.

SYNTHIA SPEAKS IN TONGUES
Synthia spoke in tongues. Until that time that she did, it was always said of her, "Synthia is too young and does not know how to talk yet."
Now it was said of her (by Mr. Boxler who was Synthia's father and father to the other Boxler children as well), "And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance."
"While the phenomenon is not simply gibberish, nor can the average person duplicate the fluency and structure of what is spoken, it has no semantic meaning whatever. That the metered vocalizations are similar across the cultures and language of the speakers, probably indicates that rhythmical discharges from subcortical structures are coming into play, released by the trance state of lesser cortical control," was Billy's opinion though he knew not why.
Mrs. Boxler knew that it couldn't have been Egyptian. She kept that to herself, though.
"For one who speaks in a tongue speaks not to men but to God; for no one understands him, but he utters mysteries in the Spirit." Mr. Boxler continued to search his memory while he ran to draw his bath.
Parting the curtains, Mrs. Boxler dusted the window sill with a new cloth. The house rumbled all day but only Synthia wondered what she had said.